So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
