i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
