fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
