My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
