Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
