so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
