Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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