Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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