this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
