nut hugger
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
