I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
