First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
