He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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