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I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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