They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
