hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
