i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
