i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
