She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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