I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
