I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I love you. Go after that dick
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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