My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
