so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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