Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize
