you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
where am i from again
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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