So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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