you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
