I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
