Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
