Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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