Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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