their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
