shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
