Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
