there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
