i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
