On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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