Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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