wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
