I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
