The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
