I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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