So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
