the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
