i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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