also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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