hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Randomize
