She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
