yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
