He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
