Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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